...

20:45

I can't remember the last time I truly ate anything. Two days ago I think... Drank a smoothie yesterday, can of coke I think too. Just a coke today. I want to eat, I can feel my stomach wanting to eat, but the desire to eat just isn't there. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I caught the acting bug again. I don't know if it's because I'm star stuck or maybe it's a huge desire to escape my self as someone else. I keep saying how I shouldn't quit and you're a quitter when you lose the will to try. I'm trying to erase my sufferings, heal from them, and start a clean slate. Now, I'm beating myself up even further. What if it's a pipe dream and I waste hundreds of dollars on nothing? It's happened before... should I just give up and accept that maybe I'm meant to do much less, that what I feel is my purpose is maybe my imagination?

20:50