...

0:03
I feel pings of dread. I don't know what's going on. I feel happiest when I don't have to think so hard about my future. The moment I think of what I should do, I want to put a knife through my chest. I feel sick and faint. I just don't know what to do anymore. I told Honey that I no longer feel joy. I spend and spend and spend to feel some sort of happiness only for remorse to kick in. The joy is short lived and I feel more awful than before. I wish I can be happy and just live. I feel like giving up this life and hope that my next life would be better. Who knows, maybe that's the point of my existence in this one, as a stepping stone to a better next life? Morbid, I am fully aware. I am just... just so tired.
0:07

0:14
I have this overwhelming urge to self-harm. I want to feel something other than how I feel right now. The only problem, other than I hate pain, is Honey finding marks on me. He always examines me and always questions any scratch or cut I get. I don't know how to make these feelings go away. I want them to go away. I don't know what I'm going to do. I just need this to stop hurting.
0:16